Kronos Ryder

Name: Kronos Ryder
Nickname:
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Rank: Dark Aura Trainer
Birthplace: Kalos
Battle Style: Annoy your oponnent into making rash deshisions, then strike.
Looks: Kronos's skin is white as the moon, reflecting a dark light. He has red eyes, which his diseas causes to have three small pupils. He always wears a blood red shirt with a black pentagram in the middle. He wears a black leather jacket with many pockets, some of which hidden. He also has long black hair with a reddish aura. He wears black jeans and spiked leather boots. He has bands strapped around his hands, covering his knuckles in metal bump's. He has a serious, yet not evil expression on his fac. He is rather tall, and a little muscular, yet not so that it is very noticable. He also carries a black messager like bag.
Personality: Kronos is unique in all ways. He worship's his lord, the mighty pokemon he believes is the devil, Giratina, but doesnt follow his orders blindly. He mostly loves books. He has books left right and center, carrying some in his bag, like his copy of the "Necronomicon" the book written by a demented Arab who put all forbidden knowldge into it. He likes spicy food, as he thinks most other foods are rather blunt. He tends to use the power of the Satan against his enemies, striking fear into them. He isnt particullarly evil, but is willing to do illegal things to help his lord out of the prison his arch Nemesis had trapped him in, far under the ground.
History: Kronos was born in a dark forest, raised in the chamber of emptyness, by worshippers of Giratina. He was tought in the dark knowledge, he learnt how to fight, how survive and how to use his Aura. At birth, he was already a natural talent at using his aura to scare, and even influence his enemies. He learnt how to scare his enemies so much with his satanic aura his enemies would'nt have the moral to defeat him. His biggest exploit with his aura was to block a attack by focusing it all in a single spot, creating a shiel that protected him from the attack. He eventually finished his training, when one day, Giratina spoke to him. He stole the copy of the Necronomicon the dark worshippers possesd, and left the area, in the goal to master darkness. He eventually met a Gengar, and befriended him with Aura. He traveld Kalos in search of the first gym, when he battled a Zorua and caught it.
Badges:
Items: 5 Poke Balls
Money: $6,200

Pokémon
Pokémon: Gengar
Nickname: Judas
Gender: Male
Level: 30
Moves:
Lick
Hypnosis
Spite
Curse
Nightshade
Sucker Punch
Shadow Punch
Ability: Levitate
Personality: Dark and cold, he alwaysacts spooky.
Exp: 0

Pokémon: Zorua
Nickname: Noah
Gender: Male
Level: 15
Moves:
Fury Swipes
Scratch
Pursuit
Shadow ball EM
Ability: Illusion
Personality: Dark and cold
Exp: 0

No longer WIP

"He worship's his lord, the mighty pokemon he believes is the devil, Giratina"

edited personality.

Spelling issues and grammatical issues; in almost every application I've checked and responded to, there are various issues that arise. I'm one to have issues myself, and I know that we all have our days we aren't doing our best writing, but I've seen typos and issues present throughout the application.

I will merit that with later trainers in creation, users are allowed to start with an extra pokemon or so; however, the levels are typically what get the new trainers that are created. As such, with a level 30 gengar and a level 15 zorua, I question myself whether to approve the application or not. My reasoning is that the history very briefly mentions that they were captured with aura, and that is all. There was NOT supporting details, such as how the fight went along, or how the training of this pokemon came about to raise their levels. In addition to this, the pokemons' personalities do not seem completely unique; the same phrase is plastered, with a minor revision to one of them. Further detail on their personalities would be appreciated.

I cannot really pick about the appearance of the character, as there is so much freedom in how the characters can look in the Pokemon world;However, I noticed a quote: "Kronos' skin is as white as the moon, reflecting a dark light..." I do not believe that his skin would be capable of reflecting any form of light. This would be believable if more facts were present and supporting details were given. In addition to this, I notice that you mention "...He has red eyes which his disease causes to have three small pupils..." The formation of these pupils are not given, nor are the shape. The disease is also left unexplained in both the appearance and the history.

The personality of the character seems to be lacking in details. You mention that he "...doesn't follow his [Giratina's] orders blindly..." This trait is not explained further in either the personality or the history. Saying that "...He has books left, right, and center, carrying some in his bag..." seems as though his appearance would include this information as opposed to his personality, where you have already mentioned his fondness for reading. Extra detail such as what one of the books are would likely be included in appearance and/ or history (based on the detail). The last of the character's personality is very contradictory to the beginning. Kronos is mentioned to follow his deity's demands without blindness, yet would do pretty much anything illegal, and possibly life threatening, to "...help his lord out of hte prison his arch-nemesis trapped him in..."

The history is the same as the personality and appearance; there were various things introduced that weren't detailed enough or had no explanation, such as the disease and "Necronomicon" mentioned before. Kronos is mentioned to be raised by worshippers of Giratina, and is mentioned to be taught "dark knowledge." However, no details of the knowledge or who taught him are included. He is mentioned to have been a natural talent of his aura at birth; however, no facts are provided as to why this is so, or where his aura even came from. I'll merit that everything doesn't need detail, but major plot points need this sort of explanation. Various other questions are as follows: what did Giratina mention to Kronos that caused him to have his goal, or did something else sway his desires; why did he take a copy of the Necronomicon, and what relevance does an outsider have to do with the writing of the book; what are the Necronomicon's originas in further detail; and what sorts of knowledge are contained?

Having finished with the critique that I would have for this application before approval, I want to express my concern in regards to this character. There is a SEVERE religious aspect to this character, and typically religion is a -special- subject to some individuals. A character like this one would have to be handled with care as not to offend anyone. In addition, you mention an outside population (for purposes of not offending, I won't mention the exact population here; however, I'm sure you can guess what I'm talking about). This could be very -special- as well and lead to offense of some parties, so I would entirely recommend the removal of that.

Issues in Summary: