Jace shikami(Star)

|~ Gen. Information ~|
Aliases / Names: Jace Shikami [NN]Star

Age| Birthplace | Gender:20;Striaton City, Unova;Male

Trainer Rank:Pokemon trainer/Connoisseur


|~ Characterization ~|
Appearance: Jace is a tall slender young man, with a bright smile. The young mans hair is a dark green color, which is long and neatly combed over one eye. His height is at a even 6 feet tall. Jace wears a vest and tie, the tie being the same color as his hair, and a white shirt under it his black vest.

Face claim:

Personality:Jace takes every thing in a point of view that compares everything with elegant food, and has a tendency of to state what he has saw though his point of view.  He is also a very positive person, and loves to make others feel happy. He also likes to make new friends. He is a cheerful man, who try's to strive to be everyone's friend.

Academically Jace is a extremely smart, but this takes away from his social skills. He  was a honor student which didn't give much time to communicate with others as much, since to be a honor student he was spending most of his spare time to study.

Jaces social skills are low, mainly from his lack of talking with others as a kid. He also has a weak sense of humor, but can be very sarcastic. He has a bright mind though.

Jace is a sweet guy, always care ing about others, and he is is extremely kind, showing kindness to everyone. Being kind is a big part of his life, to be a great person though and though. Being sweet is also part of his everyday life, because he try's to make everyone happier. He also wants to be exited and upbeat to help cheer everyone up.

Battle Style:Jace uses wits and his knowledge of the diffrent types of pokemon. He will commonly use his knolagde of the types of pokemon, to send out the opposite of the type(fire type to fight a grass type.) he also try's to adapt to other trainers stratagy to full bring out the flavor of the fight!

Past Experience / History:when a young boy, Jace was a orphaned child. His parent died when going off on a business trip to the kalos region, when his baby sitter heard of this, she took him to a orphanage, during his time at the orphanage, he grew up wondering what his parents did. He knew his father was a pokemon trainer though, and that his mom was a excellent cook. When wandering the town, while hungry, he stumbled into the gym, where he saw the man Cilan, who was extremely generous and positive.  He sat down and watched Cilan work, and during that time he saw a trainer challenge him.

After that day, Jace was inspired to become just like Cilan. The next 6 years of his life, Jace studied hard and long, learning about pokemon and about food, and worked hard to become a gentleman. He spent hours at school, and usually skiped his breaks, to study more. He also had after school, time to practice cooking for the others at the orphanage. As he left school, and was left with nothing to do but to go out by himself, he was given a choice, to go on a adventure, and to become whatever he wanted, or to stay and become a helper at the orphanage. After a not so long consideration, Jace decided to fallow his dreams, to become a pokemon Connoisseur. As he was heading out of the orphanage, the lady who looked over them all, asked him to hold on and wait, as she was looking though her stuff. She turned her back and looked towards the back of everything and eventually called Jace to help her. She needed help getting a box down. As he was takeing the box down, he bumped something, that something fell, and it seemed to break. But it didn't it opened! Where the object laid was a Emolga, it's fur nice and shiny. It's back was slick and smooth and it's under side fluffy. The pokemon seemed to be cheerful. The woman looked and Jace and asked if he wanted Emolga, who was flying around his head, and eventually landed on his head. Jace looked at the lady and said" yes! I would love haveing my first pokemon here! At my home!" Form there Jace and his new friend Emolga left for there new adventure!

|~ Inventory ~|
Badges:
~Kanto~
~Hoenn~
~Johto~
~Sinnoh~
~Unova~
~Kalos~
~Other~


Money: $6,200
Items:
05x Pokeballs
Cook wear
Portable stove burner
Dish wear


|~ Pokemon ~|
Species: Emolga
Nickname: none
Gender: Female
Level: 12
Experience: 0
Ability: Motor Drive
Personality:positive and cheerful
Moves:Thundershock;Quick Attack;Tail whip;Charge

You seem to have put many of the words in between the code margins. The code is just supposed to go around the field name to make it more distinct. Please edit the ending codes to their proper spots ( generally after the field name and colon : ). In addition, the age, gender, etc section you aren't meant to put the answer after each individual word, but after the entire field name, which ends in ":" please fix this as well. There are a few pretty harsh errors you may want to fix as well, possibly by running the application through a spell checker.

As far as the application itself goes, I know it says "at least one paragraph" but these are bare minimum requirements and don't always cover things fully. Could you possibly expand on his appearance a bit more, or maybe search for a face claim that more or less fits him?

For personality, you only have 3 sentences and don't say much about his actual personality. Likes and dislikes don't make up a person's personality per se. Please try to expand and really describe who the character is. How do they act, and think. Are they different when alone versus in social situations? Are they sarcastic and pessimistic, or maybe optimistic and oblivious? Please go more in depth.

For battle style you've explained that he uses type advantages. Is there any other strategy he tries to use in battles, or is it an all out offense? Is he adaptable, or set in his ways? What happens if type advantages fail?

For his history, it's quite frowned upon to have personal connections to canon characters and gym leaders. It's alright to say he watched the battles, but the personal interactions should be left out. You also seem to be missing much of what might have turned him into the person he is through growing up. What about school, work, etc experiences? You also left out how you came upon Emolga completely. Please explain her in your history as well.

Please get rid of notes from the original application such as the "*do not change" it was just there to let you know not to change the value of the field. If you would like, emolga can also start with one egg move and one TM move.

Fixed! So ready to be criticized.

There is still some broken code. Around name, trainker rank, emolga's personality, and Emolga's moves. In addition, please use bbcode for images and put the image in a spoiler. Please fix these.

Code:

[spoiler][img]imgurl.jpg[/img][/spoiler]

I don't feel like much was done to personality. I quite feel like the sentence added stated the same things again. How does he make others feel happy? Is he sweet and sensitive? Is he a funny guy? Is he just a good listener? Also, how does he try to make everyone his friend? Is he upbeat and high energy, or does he try to buy people through means of bribery? Obviously these are not the only options, they are examples and suggestions.

I again do suggest running this application through a spell checker though.

Fixed and updated.

Alright, that'll do. Approved unless argued against by other staff.