HomeHome  Latest imagesLatest images  NewsNews  PollsPolls  EventsEvents  Rules and Info.Rules and Info.  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share
 

 Scarlet Zen

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
*Charmanderlover*
4
*Charmanderlover*
4
Posts : 105

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zMon May 18, 2015 5:33 am

|~ Gen. Information ~|

Allase/name
Scarlet Zen
[blood, scar]

Age/ Birthplace/Gender
10
viridian/kento
female

Trainer Rank :
pokemon trainer

|~ Characterization ~|
Appearance

Scarlet Zen <a href=Scarlet Zen Screen23" />
(joy-ling.deviantart.com/art/Pokemon-Trainer-Creator-401165483 made her with this site)

Personality:

Scarlet doesn't show any emotion around people or talk much due to depression from the loss of her parents and grandmother, but is much more happier and talkative with her pokemon. Scarlet even goes as far as to ignoring other people when they try to talk to her.
This is because she is afraid that she will bond with them and will loose them like all her loved ones before.
Scarlet hates mornings, she was never really a morning person and if you were the unlucky person who had woken her up would end up hurt. She doesn't like to be in places where there is a lot of noise or hang around stupid people, and gets cranky when she has to deal with them, and does not like ignorant or people who consider themselves high and mighty.

Scarlet is much more content and happy when spending time with her pokemon whether its training or just playing with them. She enjoys peaceful places where she can be found either in the library reading a book about charmanders or in the forest that surrounds pallet town drawing things or the pokemon she sees.

Battle style
Changes from being quiet to ruthless and unmerciful
She uses quick pokemon to exhaust the opponents pokemon then sweeps them off their feet using her power pokemon

Past Experience / History:
Scarlets parents were well known trainers in the kanto region and they would often bump into each other and battle, eventually they decided to travel together. Soon after they fell in love they both decided to settle down in pallet town and decided they wanted to have a child together. Her father wanted a boy but after he saw some fathers with their daughters he had changed his mind.After 9 months scarlet was born.

Since she was a child she did not like to be around other people and was cold to other children and didn't like playing with them. She was always off playing by herself. This worried her parents and they tried to introduce her children her age from around the neighborhood hoping that she would become friends but it always failed and they would either end up with a annoyed scarlet or a hurt child.

However they did find out that she got along well with the pokemon around the house they noticed that the pokemon were careful and gentle around her. Scarlet seemed to enjoy their company especially when they were quiet. She would spend hours outside playing hide and seek with her father's raticate and her mother's sylveon.

Sadly her happiness didn't last long, a few days before Scarlets 6th birthday her parents had to go and visit her dying uncle who lived in the kalos region with their pokemon. Scarlet was left in the care of her grandmother, and on the way to kalos the plane that had scarlet's parents had crashed killing everyone on board.

After her parents death scarlet got worse, she made the already large gap bigger between her and other people, afraid she would be hurt again. She rarely smiled and all together stopped talking to other people after. The only person she smiled at or even talked to was her grandmother who she loved like a second mother. Her grandmother would tell scarlet stories about her past and how she wanted to become a pokemon trainer but couldn't due to an injury she received when she was younger. As she told scarlet, she had been traveling through M.T. moon on her way to lavender town when she was attacked by a wild onix. The pokemon had almost broke her grandmother's back completely, but luckily a trainer near by had heard her calls for help and got her out alive. Her beloved growlithe wasn't so lucky and her doctors had said it was a miracle she was still able to walk.

The idea of becoming a pokemon trainer had sparked an interest in scarlet and she vowed to her grandmother that she would make her dream come true for her. A few days later after she became 9 her grandmother passed away and fell into depression again. A neighbor who was a close friend of her parents decided to look after scarlet until she was old enough to go on a pokemon journey.

|~ Inventory ~|
Badges
Kento-
Hoenn-
Johto-
sinnoh-
univa-
kalos-

Money:$6,200
Items:05x pokeballs

|~ Pokemon ~|
Charmander
Blazingfire
male
level 12
exp: 0
Blaze
Blazingfire just like his trainer he is prideful and proud of his power and because of this he often times bites off more then he can chew and hes the one that ends up getting burned
moves
scratch
ember
tailwhip
growl


Last edited by *Charmanderlover* on Wed May 20, 2015 3:53 am; edited 5 times in total
Nishwishes
11
Nishwishes
11
Posts : 1696
Location : England

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zMon May 18, 2015 5:43 am

This application is horribly underdeveloped. You really need to expand on personality, actually create something three-dimensional, really make her a person. As for history, there are so many gaps. What kind of accident were her parents in? What kind of injury did her grandmother get and when? How did Scarlet act towards other kids and why did she respond well to Pokemon? Any exceptions? Anything her parents tried to do to fix her issues? Which family member died that her parents visited?

Please browse around other applications for a clue as to what we're looking for. Our standards have gone up a lot more since even last year. Please also take into account that there are a lot of spelling and grammar errors that need sorting.
*Charmanderlover*
4
*Charmanderlover*
4
Posts : 105

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zMon May 18, 2015 11:50 pm

How about now im sorry i had been in a rush the other day
Nishwishes
11
Nishwishes
11
Posts : 1696
Location : England

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zTue May 19, 2015 6:08 am

The personality is still completely flat. If Scarlet really is so 'void' of emotion, there should be a condition or some sort of reason for this. Not expressing it is one thing, lacking it entirely is another. There's also the fact that she's only ten years old, so that kind of damage really needs to be explored and explained if it's there from the very start. Who did she live with for a year before she was ten? And why is it that she connects to Pokemon and not people?

Don't forget grammar and punctuation. This is a role play site. Put it in the right place and split your history into actual paragraphs so that it isn't just a wall of text. If proper grammar/punctuation isn't something that you prioritise, you'll have an even harder time getting approved or role playing here.
*Charmanderlover*
4
*Charmanderlover*
4
Posts : 105

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zTue May 19, 2015 5:42 pm

ok i think i got it this time
Nishwishes
11
Nishwishes
11
Posts : 1696
Location : England

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zTue May 19, 2015 8:39 pm

The grammar still needs a massive clear up and there is barely anything to personality. She can't 'always be emotionless' if she is prideful, feels annoyance or is able to enjoy some things. Please have a look at other approved applications or look online for some help guides in constructing characters. She should have a well-rounded personality: positives, flaws, fears, aspirations, inspirations. Even a child has a personality of their own. What qualifies as 'stupid' to a ten year old girl, for example, if that's such a pet peeve of hers? Why are her morals so loose if her parents are so lovely? This can go so much further.
*Charmanderlover*
4
*Charmanderlover*
4
Posts : 105

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zWed May 20, 2015 12:42 am

done i think :)
Nishwishes
11
Nishwishes
11
Posts : 1696
Location : England

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8zWed May 20, 2015 6:37 am

I'm sorry, but I feel it's best to just reject this application. There isn't enough development in the character in terms of personality, and some inconsistency between the personality and the history. Our standards have gone up in the past few months, and despite pointing out a few times the changes I wanted you to do and suggesting inspiration to help you reach that point, the standards just haven't been met and I'm also not sure of your general writing ability based on the app so far.

You're welcome to apply again, but I would suggest either starting from scratch, or at least going one step at a time to try and create a solid, well-written, three dimensional character. Thank you for your attempt, though.
Sponsored content

Scarlet Zen Empty
PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Zen   Scarlet Zen H6Q0F8z

 
Scarlet Zen
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Scarlet Incendia
» Flandre Scarlet Trainer App.

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Pokémon World Forum :: Pokémon Role Play :: Creation Station :: Trainer Creation :: Denied & Abandoned-
Jump to: