Marcus Soul

|~ Gen. Information ~|
Aliases / Names:
Marcus Soul

Age | Birthplace | Gender:
16
Male
Hoenn, little root

Trainer Rank:
Poke'mon trainer

|~ Characterization ~|
Appearance:

What my fellow looks like:

Personality:
Marcus is a quiet and gentle giant who cares for his friends, human and pokemon. He tends to show a more angered side to people who treat their or others pokemon with disrespect and argues against Options that would hurt people or pokemon. When around pokemon he tends to act positive and only fights if needed as he hates to do so for no reason. Other than this Marcus also contains an honor which he got off his mother. He may never hit or swear at a girl unless is life is threatened which he will forgot about it, until then he is more polite to girls than others. He is very friendly to wild pokemon which often lead to him getting in a scuff or a fight between pokemon trying to break it up as this tended to sadden him.

Battle Style:
Marcus when he battles tends to work smartly yet he is able to make unpredictable moves and create solutions to what would seem to be impossible and tends to be creative when he wants to be. He thinks about each move but most in all haves fun and can sometimes act a little unserious in a battle.

Past Experience / History:
Marcus was born into a world of Pokémon, quite literally. His family were carers of Pokémon from little root. They tended to look after Pokémon, captured or wild free of charge and Marcus grew up knowing these Pokémon and gaining a love of all Pokémon, as a result he is always sad to see one go. At a young age Marcus grew to know many different types of Pokémon and always cared for them be they wild or not.

A few years later at the age of 14 he was travelling the forest that surrounded little root when he came across a building he had never seen before. The Pokémon that came close to it had a feared look in their eyes and This gained the attention of Marcus who decided to sneak into the building though one of the 2nd floor windows that were next to the high trees treecko's lived upon. Climbing with no resistance from the treecko's Marcus made a leap from a branch and landed in a room of Pokémon eggs. Each egg was labelled failed test subject and upon leaving the room he saw a sign leading back to the room with the words ‘Failed genetic egg’s go here.

This at the time made Marcus Curious and eventfully Marcus moved down a few hallways before coming into a room with a large machine surrounded by many smaller computers that was connected to a single Pokémon egg with fire like symbols on it. The egg which was attached to several cord's each injecting into the egg a black like liquid kept changing the orange symbols into a dark colour. As Marcus moved closer he could see on the computers that were connected to the large machine it was at work on changing the genetic stature of the Pokémon inside, trying to change its shape or colour.

Each computer explained a small detail to him Marcus but he couldn’t fully understand what he was seeing. Features that would normally be an orange colour shown to be a blackish one and this made him wondered what or who would be behind messing with the Pokémon. He wondered how they could be doing it but decided to not ponder on it as seemed way too confusing for him even with all this information in front of him. One thing was for sure and it was that they were committing test on Pokémon before they were even born and this made Marcus sad at the thought.

Soon he heard doors open behind him and Marcus quickly decided to move to a computer and look for an off switch which he surly found. After pressing it he heard several alarms go off and moved to the now deactivated machine removing the silver tubes that were once injecting the egg and grabbing it before running down a hallway. He got lost in his running but eventually found the egg room again where he climbed into the window and looked. The branch he jumped from was higher than the window and Marcus forgot his bag. He would have thought up of a plan but he heard the door open and yelling behind him he jumped. Mid jump he turned his back so the egg wouldn't take a beating while he fell on the many branches calling out in pain each time he landed on one that didn't break and yelped in pain as smaller ones lashed out at his skin before finally hitting the ground and losing his breath.

As he felt his breath come back to him he checked the egg to see it unscathed and then immediately got up despite the pain he felt. He was starting to limp away when he heard doors open and Marcus felt fearful that he would be caught but then he heard cries of several Pokémon as they swooped down and attacked Marcus's follower's, allowing him to escape.

Returning home with the egg in hands, Marcus told his story to his parents and in return they told the local police which in turn gave Marcus a thumbs up for being brave and rescuing the Pokémon he did yet that didn't stop a scolding from his parents for doing that alone and for the amount of bruises and cuts he got from jumping. A few months later of heavy care that Marcus gave the egg, it soon began to hatch which made Marcus feel lucky but his luck just gave more as the Pokémon hatched into a Female Torchic of a different colour. Normal torchics are orange but this one was of pure black with a silvery white crest and wings. Marcus immediately took a liking to the Torchic and was allowed to keep it as his parents saw it fit, him saving it then looking after it and all. Now at 16 Marcus has trained with his Torchic that he calls Ashley and has prepared himself to go where his feet take him with Ash on his side.  

|~ Inventory ~|
Badges:
~Kanto~
~Hoenn~
~Johto~
~Sinnoh~
~Unova~
~Kalos~
~Other~


Money: $6,200
Items:
05x Pokeballs


|~ Pokemon ~|
Species: Torchic
Nickname: Ashley
Gender: Female
Level: 6
Experience: 0
Ability: *Blaze
Personality: When asked to back down, but wants to continue, She will continue but she also has a soft spot for Pokémon that are hurt or need help and is always friendly to a friendly trainer.

Moves:
Growl
Scratch
(Egg move) Flamethrower

Seems good :)
Approved unless higher up says otherwise

Yeah I know nish but he talked about it with latios, I think it was approved from what i could follow from the conversation :)

I approved the concept of a different color if suitable explanation was given; I did not approve the usage of a shiny (which, from what I can tell, is not what is being used, but instead, just a color-scheme change). On a second note, I myself read the history. I do notice where there are scientists testing on an egg, but specifics are not given until farther on, and not only that, the kinds of "tests" being made were not really mentioned. So even though the concept for the plot to explain it is legitimate, I don't think it's necessarily sufficient as it is explaining exactly why the torchic is different. Just my two cents.

Not going towards the fact the grammar is really really off-par and the spelling of a couple of things may be incorrect, I'm finding it a little difficult to even understand some of this newly-revised history. I can interpret my way through to where he gets in the room, but then it just goes haywire.

1. Each egg is labelled as a test subject; however, are there no further details on the labels other than this? Why test on something random when they likely have a specific goal? Are they, perhaps, testing on many types of pokemon? If so, what do each of these eggs look like? These details will suffice this dilemma.
2. When Marcus jumps into the room, you mention a single machine is connected to the egg by multiple cords (likely of varying color); however, later on you mention that there are many machiens hooked to the egg, each displaying a piece of information. This is a bad inconsistency.
3. In addition to point 2, you write that Marcus knows they are changing the genetic structure (or attempting to), but then go on to state he cannot understand one piece of what the machines are displaying (this doesn't even talk about the contradiction that is made when saying each explains to him what it does (which would essentially have him understand it)). This is a second inconsistency, and details can be used to fix it.
4. You speak that Marcus keeps his cool; however, you then go on to state that he deactivates the machine testing on the pokemon egg. This is quite a contradiction, as I'd think setting the machine off would definitely alert the scientists / guards to something going amiss. Details on his escape are necessary or another means of getting the egg is needed.

There still isn't much of an explanation as per how he escaped. Even if you include the pokemon outside attacking, it doesn't explain how he escaped hte facility itself (such as jumping out a window (which is deadly on its own) or evading guards) with the egg. I hate to sound so picky, but this is a little bit of a major detail for the background of the character / pokemon.

(Still pondering how local police would exactly 'thumbs' him for entering a dangerous place recklessly, but meh, that's my personal opinion and not part of this post as suggestion)

Also, if you make a revision to the topic, you'd find it in teh best interest of getting it approved / looked at to post you've revised here and not in the chatbox, especially when it's one in the morning where I am when I'm likely to not see it D:

Revised and reposted

I also changed the way he escaped and some things on the aftermath

I suppose it's as good as we can get it right now. Just gotta remove the default notes (lines with * beside it) and it'll be good to go.

Approved unless higher-up says otherwise.