Rikaro Widefan

|~ Gen. Information ~|
Aliases / Names:
Rikaro Widefan

Blue

Age | Birthplace | Gender:

18

Johto, Golden Rod City

Male

Trainer Rank:

Pokémon Trainer

|~ Characterization ~|

Appearance:



Personality:

   Rikaro is the type of guy who likes to be the top dog of everything he does. Because of this he tends to push himself pass the breaking point and will not stop until he succeeds in what he is trying to accomplish. Rikaro is an energetic friendly person to almost anyone he meets as he believes that ''you'll never get a second chance to make a first impression''. Rikaro is very easy to talk to and get a long with and although at first he may seem out going and friendly he is easily aggravated. Even though Rikaro does not really have that many friends his heart is opened for more. Rikaro is a bottomless pit when it comes to food and therefore always eating. In public Rikaro is a calm and cool guy who blends in with the croud. But around his Pokémon he is a whole different person if you see him with his Pokémon you would know how much he loves them. Atop his loving personality Rikaro is really sarcastic like if some says "Rikaro how do you like the sun." He will say, "Wow it is cold." Rikaro is known for his out bursts that come when he is either loosing at something or when something irritates him. During his outbursts he will say very mean things like screaming bad things at the person he is battling or the person that is irritating him call them stupid or dumb or even dobe. Rikaro likes the night because it seems peaceful when he is looking at the stars. Rikaro likes the stars because they fascinate his eyes from how many there are. Rikaro dislikes all evil in the world

Battle Style:

Each battle Rikaro randomizes his battle style so his weaknesses will not be exploited

Past Experience / History:


While a young boy in the city of Goldenrod Rikaro mom and dad owned a conjoined Pokemon Business where his mom specialized in nursing Pokémon and his dad breeder them. Rikaro best friend Luna stayed in the house next door to him. Being in a place surrounded by blue most of his whole life Rikaro favorite color became blue which earned him the nickname Blue from Luna.

While Rikaro and Luna were young they occasionally went to the Pokémon Antholon to watch the contests.

At the age of 16 Rikaro and his best friend Luna who stayed in the house next door to him in Golden Rod City was exploring the lake on the left side of the Pokémon Anthlon. While exploring the lake Luna and Rikaro found two pokemon egss both eggs were sky blue with white spots. Agreeing to take care of whatever Pokémon was in the eggs they both made a promise to each other saying that they will become successful Pokemon trainers and defeat all gyms and E4 in the world. After months Luna had to move away to the Unova Region because her mom and dad purchased a Hotel in the region for business. The Pokemon eggs still did not hatch unfortunately.

A year later at the age of 17 the Pokemon egg Rikaro had hatched into a 5 ft long any blue Pokémon that resembled a sea serpent. Rikaro took it to a near by Pokémon professor and the professor explains that Rikaro had a rare Pokémon name Dratini that was rarely seen in the world.  Rikaro then named the Dratini Draco after one of the great Dragon Type Pokémon. While arriving home to show his mom and dad his discovery they both explained to him that his mom got a job a Pokémon Nurse in a Pokemon Center in the far away region of Kalos and his father got a Breeding business their as well. Rikaro smiled for his parents and was ready to begin his adventure. They told them that they would leave on his 18 birthday.

One year after the announcement on his 18 birthday they were ready to get aboard the plane to Kalos. Before boarding the plane Rikaro saw a trainer with a appearance with yellow hair and red eyes carrying a Dratini like his on his shoulder that sent water out of its mouth into the sky almost every minute. Rikaro asked the man was he ok and the man had said yes when you are a champion you get use to this leaving Rikaro jaws dropped. Rikaro boarded the plane and prepared for his adventure.


|~ Inventory ~|
Badges:
~Kanto~
~Hoenn~
~Johto~
~Sinnoh~
~Unova~
~Kalos~
~Other~

Money: $4,100
Items:
05x Pokeballs
01x Fire Stone

|~ Pokemon ~|

Species: Dratini
Nickname: Draco
Gender: Male
Level: 15
Experience: 3
Ability: Shed Skin
Personality:

Draco is the opposite of Rikaro it usually minds its on business unless it is battling or own Rikaro. Draco is well mannered and has a adamant nature that his perfect for him.

Moves:
Wrap - Start
Leer - Start
Thunderwave - 5
Twister - 11
Dragon Rage - 15
Extreme Speed - EM
Flamethrower - TM


Species: Togepi [Shiny]
Nickname: Toga
Gender: Male
Level: 12
Experience: 10
Ability: Serene Grace
Personality:

A simple term is used with this Pokemon, a baby. it is a complete child Pokemon and must be cared for as one, due to the fact he was abandoned in the orphanage by his trainer, he does not trust willingly and is prone to crying A LOT, like tears galore. He is very kind and shows adoration to those whom are nice.

Moves:
Charm - Start
Growl - Start
Metronome - 5
Sweet Kiss - 9
Extrasensory - EM


Species: Snubbull
Nickname:
Gender: Male
Level: 19
Experience: 0
Ability: Run Away
Personality:

Snubbull is a bit insecure due to multiple factors; he just doesn't feel as though he operates best in battle scenarios. He has a more ideal dream in competition that involves style or glamor; due to this, he is also unadventurous. He would rather walk around a town then travel all the regions natural habitats. He also lacks a sense of humor, making him a bit plain.

Moves:
Ice Fang - Start
Fire Fang  - Start
Thunder Fang  - Start
Tackle  - Start
Scary Face  - Start
Tail Whip  - Start
Charm  - Start
Bite - 7
Lick - 13
Headbutt - 19


Species: Vulpix
Nickname: Kurama
Gender: Female
Level: 29
Experience: 0
Ability: Drought
Personality:
Fired up and brave, Kurama craves adventure. Always looking for the next best thing to experiment or chase after, Kurama loves adventure such to the point that she is a little oblivious to the obvious. If distracted, you could set food in front of her and expect it to go unnoticed, all in the name of adventure!

Moves:
Ember - Start
Tail Whip - 4
Roar - 7
Baby-Doll Eyes - 9
Quick Attack - 10
Confuse Ray - 12
Fire Spin - 15
Payback - 18
Will-o-wisp - 20
Feint Attack - 23
Hex - 26
Flame Burst - 28


Pokémon: Bonsly
Gender: Male
Level: 35
Experience: 0
Ability: Sturdy
Personality:
More of a follower than a leader, bonsly has a hard time staying outside of his pokeball due to fear. He is usually cautious, warning his trainer and companions of the potential dangers of going through with some act or tribulation. He has to be encouraged to do something he views as dangerous.

Moves:
- STR: Fake Tears
- STR: Copycat
- L05: Flail
- L08: Low Kick
- L12: Rock Throw
- L15: Mimic
- L19: Feint Attack
- L22: Rock Tomb
- L26: Block
- L29: Rock Slide
- L33: Counter


Pokemon: Snivy
Nickname: Poison Ivy
Gender: Male
Level: 5
Experience: 0
Ability: Overgrow – When HP is below 1/3rd of its maximum, power of grass-type moves is increased by 50%.
Moves:
Twister (EM)
Pursuit (EM)
Mirror Coat (EM)
Tackle
Personality: A little feisty, but usually collected enough to participate in battles or other competition. Enjoys playing in the grass and trees a lot and dislikes water.
Leer

Birthplace: Need a town with the region

Personality:
Most of the personality isn't truly a personality. His occasions of going to play with bug pokemon are better stated in the history, and the name in the last sentence should be best under aliases (with the origin of his nickname present in the history). Other than that, what's currently present is minimal; a person's personality is much more vivid and expressed than the given. What are some of his interests and dislikes? How does he behave in certain situations? Does he have a second personality, or does he behave one way in front of crowds and another way when he's alone? Does he care for friends or is he a lone wolf? Does he have a tendency to be a thief? There are countless possibilities.

Battle Style:
The battle style isn't, well, broad more or less as it is specific to very few given scenarios. Not all pokemon are speedy or buffed with muscle; some are slower and weaker, but deal so much damage with status inflictions. I can see one point that is fine according to guidelines, but it needs a bit of expansion and generalizing (such as the usage of opponent types to the chr's advantage, so on so forth).

History:
1. Your history says the character was born in Johto, but above you have it written as Kalos. This is an inconsistency.
2. The second sentence is a run-on. Also, I'd like to see expansion of this; at what age did his father encounter the pokemon, and what circumstances led the pokemon to becoming his? Was there some request that he had to fulfill or such?

Overall, the history needs severe expansion and inclusion of more events from the character's life. There's very few events as of the moment: he was born, his father found a pokemon, he got that pokemon, and then his family moved and he was spoiled from the parents' new jobs before meeting some stranger in a pokemon center. There's a lot more to someone's life and history than few events such as these. Did he have a best friend as a child? Did he have a rival? Did his parents have any sort of relationship problems? Were they distant or close to him when he was young? Did he have a pokemon when he was younger that somehow disappeared? There's an endless amount of possibilities for expansion.

Inventory: Get rid of the notes with the asterisks in front of them, such as "Do not change"

Pokemon:
1. The BBcode for Experience is broken; it should be bolded
2. Expand on the personality of the pokemon a bit more. Is there something special about it? Is he feisty or well-mannered, so on so forth?
3. Please put appropriate labels behind moves. I don't know which the pokemon starts with, which are EM/TM, and what levels each are learned at.[/b]

Age, Birth, Gender:
I'd recommend putting the birthplace and age/gender on their own lines so they don't look merged together ;p

Personality:
1. Still requires more expansion; I'm not seeing much about how he behaves in the public or to himself; I'm really just seeing that he keeps to himself
2. You say that he hates being spoiled twice in the personality; once at the beginning where he hates attention, and next when you say it again ("He hates when his parents attempt to spoil him...")
3. The name "Emo Rikaro" should be listed under aliases if his parents call him this. Also, the origins of the name should be in the history

Battle Style:
Your battle style is still too specific to different scenarios. Surely you aren't planning to use dratini throughout the entire adventure alone? You'd need to use something broader that, while broad, it does cover his overall strategy.

For example: ___'s battle style depends entirely on the circumstances in which he is battling. If he is being evasive, he will not battle with as much force, showing more of a focus upon status impacts. If he's trying to push his way through, he may use more blunt force than status impact.

While still saying the overall strategy used in a few different circumstances, it doesn't cover 100% of what would happen, such as using one pokemon's move and then another's. (This isn't saying you wouldn't use those moves specifically in that order in the RP, but for purposes of battle style, it needs to cover something all the pokemon can be utilized for)

Historical Context / History:
I'm seeing some new information that could also be incorporated into the personality of the character; however, overall, there wasn't that much expansion from the first time I read the history. There's a lot more room for experiences the trainer's had, such as with pokemon encounters or about friends and other relatives or how these experiences impacted him.

I'd recommend experimenting a bit. Start with a base idea of who the character is, and begin writing a base history for him. Afterwards, add in some "meat" to the sandwich that is his history; give him life and depth with the history and his experiences. Make him separate and unique from everybody else's characters. Then use what's in the history to define his personality; what goals does he have, or what would some of his pet peeves be? Is he more comfortable around different types of pokemon or just around pokemon in general? Expand~

Fixed

Personality:
I don't think much changed from the last revision other than the removal of the statement involving his alias and the addition of one or two things. I'm getting from his personality that he's an isolationist who doesn't want to be around people, but has to in many situations. How does he behave around his pokemon though? Are there special instances in which he can, well, be communicative without being shy (does it involve him knowing someone fora while or something?). Remember, your character's personality is going to influence how you play their communications between other characters and himself, as well as how he'll likely behave. While there will be some character development, he still has to have a bit more depth before he can be released into the wild, wild Pokemon World ;3

Battle Style:
While I fancy the addition that you made a bit, it's still a bit overdetailed. You don't have to list specific moves you'd use, and not only that, the over-specific style in the first paragraph is still there. You've gotta make it a general strategy that can apply for ALL of your character's pokemon, not just specific ones. (Again, not to say you won't be formulating specific strategies pertaining to some pokemon owned, but the battle style needs to be general for them all; you're not gonna be catching the same one multiple times, are you?)

History:
While I like the addition that you made in the center, now the flow is wrecked. While I see a few more events, they aren't necessarily tied together well with transitions. For example, between the last two paragraphs, I can't (well, I can) tell as a reader of the history if there were any events between the two paragraphs that transpired, or if there were none. Another example would be the character's parents; we aren't told they're distant until he is somewhat older. From what I'm getting off of the history, they were that way since he was young, and moving just caused more problems. There's also not that much in terms of reactions to the events in his life; yes, he got angry at his parents, eventually running away, but what of short-term responses? Did, perhaps, his attitude towards them or others lower, or did he punch a wall or something? There's also a few unexplored things, such as how or when the pokemon and trainer became close, or where the origin of the pokemon's nickname is. (I'm essentially seeing events that have happened, but still there's minimal life to the character and his behavior)

I also didn't mention this earlier, but now that the application is slowly getting larger, I need to point it out; grammar and punctuation. There are many run-on sentences, and a few different problems involving the wrong words or typos of words being used. It makes the app a bit hard to read. Also, if you're truly having problems thinking of ideas for the character for his history / personality / etc, take a look to the trainer creation section (approved trainers). It might give you some ideas.

Fixed

Personality:
Drastic change is drastic. Regardless, your likes and dislikes are repetitive. You mention that he likes the night and then dislikes the daytime and then mention he likes the cold but dislikes the hot. It may also seem a bit picky, but how exactly does the daylight unsettle his calm behavior?

Battle Style:
The battle style looks fine; however, it needs to be rephrased and corrected for grammar / spelling errors.

History:
1. Inconsistency; Rikaro discovered the egg at 16, but it hatched a year later, when he was... 16?
2. There's a good amount of detail pertaining to his life after 16, but what of before this? What was his childhood like? When did he meet Luna, and how did they meet? Did they always wanna be pokemon trainers together?

Pokemon:
Dratini's personality could be a bit more thought out given that you shifted the history a great deal (well, regardless it coudl be more detailed xP).

Also, throughout the application there are grammar and spelling errors. These need correction so it can be read easier.

Fixed

Ok ok i may get killed for this, Like Fen may literally slice me open and destroy me for this.

1. Fen, you need to remember this is his first application on the site, i think your getting slightly to technical and a little bit carried away with the corrections your asking off. Compared to a lot of the older applications and some of the new applications made by new members, this one stands on par with some of the newer applications made by old members. So I'm going to tell you to have a cookie and relax. Grammar and punctuation is all fine and dandy to nitpick but if this is the case then my applications need hella reviewed :( XD.

2. APPROVED!!

[Fen don't hurt me]

Un-approved by le power that beez~
I'll shortly make a double-post (ugh, double; chills saying that D:) with another suggestion for the character application after I've read it again and got my notepad open~

Personality:
- I feel that saying he ends up with an episode over losing or being defeated is the same thing; he's lost in both instances, no?
- This is really just chronological problem and likely isn't major, but I think saying that his episodes come in handy and are a pain in other instances is best said before you mention it as a hindrance

Just a formatting note, nothing major, you coudl merge the bulleted list into a singel one since there's only one dislike bulleted and two for likes. Title it "the many wonderful hates and loves of potatoes" (I mean "Likes and Dislikes") o3o

Battle Style:
Rephrase a little with punctuation here. The run-on sentence makes it hard to determine what exactly you mean with "figuring out the type what moves how quick and how strong," for example.

History:
- You'd probably be best of mentioning that Luna stays next-door to him within the first paragraph introducing her
- I'd like to see just one more, one more event in the history detailing his past either a bit after meeting or prior to meeting Luna

General Nitpicks:
Note: These general little nitpicks won't, overall, impact the approval of your application. There just things I'd highly recommend doing since I have very big problems with organization lacking or such (that's my problem though xD)~

- I'm still a bit on-the-fence about the last paragraph; I can definitively tell that the one being referenced is Red, and I'm not really into seeing that used
- Single-space between the move list for your pokemon. I saw on the togepi temporarily adopted the move-list was single-spaced
- While not mandatory elsewhere other than the battle style, there's still a few dilemmas with the grammar or word usage. For example, I saw the letter "b" wedged between two words instead of a space in the application xP

Fixed it

Personality:
It seems you keep blowing my suggestions out of the water here. All I mentioned was that there was a duplication of one thing, and that you could re-position one statement, and now, if my head's screwed on right, that entire portion of personality is just entirely gone. Where are the causes of the episodes? Where is the personality portion about his behavior during episodes or how it hinders him? It's gone.

Appearance:
You changed his appearance for a second time. I don't think I was even aware you were going to do that a second time p-p

Battle Style:
I notice that, a second time, the trainer's battle style has flipped a 180 and went in a new direction; where's the one where he was going to exploit the weaknesses of his opponents? I suggested a rephrase, not the necessity for a replacement.

Other Remarks:
The history itself seems perfectly fine now; I have no quarrels with it; however, with everything else, I'm just not even sure as of the moment. I'm not concretely convinced even you know what you want the trainer to be with his strategy and appearance 100% given how much they've been changing entirely as opposed to partially to solve dilemmas.

When you've got a concrete decision on what his appearance is going to be and elaborate now on the minimal details of his "episodes" that was there earlier, I'll come back to see the application (you'll have to let me know things are changed).

I hate sounding rude, but you've gotta stick to one thing and follow the suggestions, not change the app's sections 100% over-and-over; that's just gonna create an infinite loop of you writing something new, me coming back, and then more suggestions being filed, thus delaying the application's approval D:

I await the revision.

Edited

This is the best it's possibly going to get from the 24+ hours of work and discussion. The history meets minimal requirements, and while the battle style and personality aren't 100% to my taste, they meet the minimal guidelines (with personality being a bit more). Any problems involving Red are seemingly gone, and have been replaced with some odd, what I'd figure future-based self of the trainer... Which might make for an intersting story plot, who knows?

Anyway, the application is re-approved. I'm done for the night people! p3p