Age | Birthplace | Gender: 14 | Violet City, Johto | Male
Trainer Rank: Pokemon Trainer
|~ Characterization ~| Appearance:
Spoiler:
Personality: Geo is a nice boy, incapable of doing anything despicably horrible in the name of just being bad. He does act psuedo-bad at times, though, often messing with people just to get a cheap laugh, but, as said before, never going too far. Normally when talking to people he is blunt and to the point, being very smart but not showing much of his personality until he gets hyper. When he is hyper, he starts having a lot more fun with things, even going a bit overboard at times without even noticing it.
When Geo battles with his pokemon, he is usually calm, though. His intelligence shows better in this, since his love of pokemon prompted him to study a lot about it. Therefore, he will usually try to predict his opponent's moves and sarcastically insult throughout the fight. This guy is a massive biscuit-talker. Sometimes he just won't shut up, but it isn't because of arrogance. He knows his limits. He only does this because he is very confident, and is good at battling.
Geo enjoys battling more than anything, but he also loves pokemon for who they are, never just for battle purposes. He'll try and find a way to make his favorite pokemon battle-ready, and loves to strategize. He absolutely hates those who think they are the best just because they have popular pokemon, or those who battle simply to battle, and treat their pokemon like machines instead of valuable fighting partners.
Battle Style: Geo likes to go mainly on the offense, using stat-boosting moves in strategic situations to boost his pokemon to their maximum and beyond. He doesn't prefer speed over power, as he likes to think of a way to get around a speed crutch instead of working with it. He enjoys flashy battles, and tries to make it as dramatic as possible to make it that much more enjoyable to watch. Although he is very confident, he isn't overconfident in battle, so he won't take losing badly, only rework his team in order to come back even stronger. He learns from every battle.
Past Experience / History: Geo was born in Violet City, just a normal boy who rarely went out of the city or got in trouble. His parents were overprotective of him, saying that he could get seriously injured if he were to go out without a pokemon of his own. At least he was popular with the people in town, even Falkner, who offered to train him if his parents should ever allow it.
As Geo got older, he began to wonder what was out in the forests, and once even organized a band of kids to wander out into the forest. Well...it was stopped by the adults, but they were so close that they could feel the adventure! To satiate their longing for the answer to the mystery, they were all allowed in to the Pokemon Academy, where the oldest, Geo, studied tirelessly and was a natural. He was a boy genius, but his naive personality and blunt way of thinking stopped him from going out before the rest of the trainers, wanting to finish his studies before going out.
During the last year of his studying, while all the others had gone out on their adventures already, his parents wondered what was wrong. Geo said he had just wanted to be fully prepared, but he really wanted to see the outside world. He began to walk outside of town by himself, without any pokemon, and he discovered a nest with one Venipede. Her mother was missing, and it looked like she was hungry. Geo began to take care of the pokemon by himself, coming back everyday to feed it and give it warm nesting. Eventually, when the mother hadn't come back after Geo was finished with his studies, he decided to keep the little Venipede, naming it Hex.
Geo now trains to one day beat the Pokemon League, and his first target is Falkner, the town gym leader.
|~ Pokemon ~| Species: Venipede Nickname: Hex Gender: Female Level: 12 Experience: 0 *Do NOT change this Ability: Speed Boost Personality: Hex has a very motherly personality, always willing to protect those who are close to her, mostly Geo. She is even willing to sacrifice her life to protect Geo. Moves: Defense Curl, Rollout, Poison Sting, Screech, Pursuit, Poison Jab (TM), Rock Climb (EM)
Last edited by Geo on Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:10 am; edited 1 time in total
I may ask questions. Most of them are to be answered in the template rather than directly posting your responses to them. All right, going top to bottom.. starting with personality.
Personality wrote:
When he is hyper, he starts having a lot more fun with things, even going a bit overboard at times without even noticing it.
I didn't really understand that part. Could you give an example? What excites your character so much?
Other than that, it's bit lacking. What makes your character angry? What about said? How do they act in certain situations? When would your character feel he's in his own environment? When would he feel uncomfortable?
History - honestly, it feels rather rushed.
history wrote:
Geo was born in Violet City, just a normal boy who rarely went out of the city or got in trouble. His parents were overprotective of him, saying that he could get seriously injured if he were to go out without a pokemon of his own.
...
During the last year of his studying, while all the others had gone out on their adventures already, his parents wondered what was wrong.
This was a bit contradicting. I'm not sure overprotective parents would feel excited about their child about to leave home, potentially for years, at only the age of 14. According to the history, he didn't have a Pokemon at the time, either. What was different that they'd anticipate him leaving then?
History wrote:
He began to walk outside of town by himself, without any pokemon, and he discovered a nest with one Venipede.
To me, it isn't really clear whether he actually started his adventure here or not. Did he actually leave or something?
Also, the Venipede. What made your character want to even care about this Venipede? Did something about it make him feel bad? Would he have felt guilty to leave it there? What was his motivation behind helping the Venipede?
Geo
1
Posts : 4
Subject: Re: Geo Ryans Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:32 pm
Jeez, you're kinda looking into things a little too much. Example:
"What made your character want to even care about this Venipede? Did something about it make him feel bad? Would he have felt guilty to leave it there? What was his motivation behind helping the Venipede?"
It's pretty obvious that my character didn't want to just leave a poor, defenseless pokemon out in the wild to either get eaten or just starve to death. Seriously, I don't see why you have to question it.
Dragon Kurai
12
Posts : 4447 Location : On the hype train .3.
Subject: Re: Geo Ryans Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:36 am
[Bomb-shell of suggestions incoming!]
Appearance:
Code:
Please place your character's image of appearance into a spoiler. The image is quite large and may slow down some browsers (especially mobile) if it is left outside of a spoiler. You can use the "spoiler" tag to accomplish this like below.
[spoiler]IMAGE[/spoiler]
If you want to be even more fancy, you can resize the image. I believe the code is like this... I believe the first number is the width, and the second is the height (intentionally no spaces before px).
[img(#px,#px)]IMAGE URL[/img]
Personality:
Spoiler:
I feel as though your personality is a bit vague in a few locations. For example, as Ed wrote previously, you write that the character's personality displays more abruptly when he becomes hyper; however, nothing about this trait is detailed further. What makes the character become so hyper, and how does his personality show more? Is it because he becomes a bit reckless when hyper or a bit distracted?
In addition to being vague in a few locations, I feel as though the given personality also contradicts itself a couple of times. The first example is that the character is a "nice boy" unable to do anything "despicably horrible," yet he will often times mess with someone to get a cheap laugh from it all. The phrase "never going too far" may cover this for some in explanation, but I'd like to see a light rephrasing of this part.
The next contradiction I feel is evident is when you speak of how he trains his pokemon. You write that he "loves pokemon for who they are and never just for battle purposes," yet later describe his methods and again restate that he disapproves of those who "treat their pokeon like machines." This latter part seems to apply to the character based on his training, since he "loves to strategize" and make his pokemon "battle-ready."
Battle Style:
Quote :
Although he is very confident, he isn't overconfident in battle, so he won't take losing badly, only rework his team in order to come back even stronger. He learns from every battle.
I feel this quote belongs in his personality; you are writing about how he behaves or acts as opposed to how he battles. You write that he learns from his battles, which could also be considered a part of his personality (possibly to enhance what you said about his intelligence). You could possibly link this field together with his personality in that he "enjoys flashy battles."
History:
Spoiler:
Your first statement says that Geo was a normal boy who rarely seemed to get into trouble. I feel as though this contradicts your character's personality. Later on in the history you also seem to contradict this statement, saying his "naive personality and blunt way of thinking" halted his progress at some point. Surely he would've gotten into some sort of trouble as to cause his progress to be halted.
Some things are in your history that are either not mentioned twice or are just left unconcluded. The first is that Falkner (I'm presuming this is an NPC since I don't know 100% of the NPCs) made an offer to train Geo. It is only written he made this offer, with no further explanations or reactions from other characters given. You also write that his parents were worried what is wrong and that Geo only wanted to be "fully prepared." I would guess that he either didn't tell them or that they should've been notified, making this piece of the history vague as well as strange (in my opinion).
I feel as though his events were also a bit rushed (which could help result in the vague-ness of pieces of the history), as Ed wrote previously. There isn't much written about what he did as a child or why his parents were so overprotective of him; did he get into a bad situation once or twice by accident, or was it due to something else in the environment? Did his parents show issue with allowing their child into the pokemon academy? Did they investigate further into why he was having issues at the academy? Why would they be fully open to letting their son leave town if he passed? How did no one catch him walking out of town alone when, as a child, his little troop was caught?
I notice you write about a venipede. What was going through his mind at that point in time? How did he conceal the pokemon's existence at the academy / at his home? Were there any challenges involved in raising the pokemon? Did the creature form a connection to Geo because of the treatment he gave?
My last question about the history pertains to his goals (which are inferenced by the last statement in his history). There is little explanation of why he has his goals or how they pertain to his history. Basically, there's little connection to anything else about his goal to defeat the pokemon league.
(In summary, you can basically fix all of the aforementioned issues with better flow, detail, and the inclusion of a few more events in the history)
Pokemon: You can remove the "Do not change this" on experience. That's just a note to make sure nobody changes it.
Response: In regards to your response, we're moderators / administrators; our job is to help improve your character to our best abilities. We are only trying to point to you things we may not understand or may not see as well as problems in the character application that could arise later on in your posting experience. As such, we may question something that may be as small as a grain of sand for you, but is a major problem to us. A primary example could be that you interpret your character's actions as him not wishing to leave the venipede to starve, but someone else may not see that.
Thanks for your cooperation and reading this huge post~ Matt
Geo
1
Posts : 4
Subject: Re: Geo Ryans Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:09 am
Fine, I'll edit it. It might take me awhile, but answer me this: What do you mean I should add more events? I don't want to make his backstory the whole character, because I want him to develop during his journey more than his childhood. In fact, he's still living his childhood.
And I don't see how strategizing and making your team battle ready is treating them like machines. He still cares about his pokemon, but it's like being a coach on a sports team. He still has to train them and make strategies so that they can win.
EDIT: Ok, I'm gonna totally re-haul this guy. He won't even be the same anymore, alright?
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Subject: Geo Ryans 
Thu Jun 26, 2014 2:52 am
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