Sit down for a question and answer portion with the man you, deep inside truly hate, Shadow. But before that, let me just say a some things.
You and every single member visit this forum to escape from their personal life and/or have fun role-playing, imagining how they have a Pokémon by their side, talk to their friends, make unforgettable moments, and go wild. I cannot comprehend and understand why I can never feel the same way like everyone. I always feel different and odd. I can assure you someone will say I am going through my drama again and being a drama king. Sometimes, you have to drop your rules and think outside the box. You know how kind I was the first time we met, what I can do as a staff member, and other pleasant things I am capable of. I have become a friend to everyone here at least once and I only turn into a monster whenever someone or something pisses me off.
Three, four, or five years ago, there was a forum called Pokémon X. I was 10 years old. I registered on that forum hoping to find a replacement for Pokémon Crater. It seems I have found something different. The concept of role-playing interested me. I tried it, and everyone was so friendly. If only I had known how fucked up things would be in the future then I would have registered on another site.
I still remember my first spam. I was 10 years old, and I was already spamming as good as I can today. Josh wanted to delete the forum. I have enjoyed the forum and the people and as a kid, I was so scared to lose everyone. My childish attempts lead me to linking a satanic picture and scaring Josh that I will put a satanic curse on him. It was comical, I admit. Of course, it did not work. I spammed on despite everyone including my friends hating it. I was trying to protect them. I was a child who wanted to do well, but am so mislead he ended up doing the wrong.
Pokémon World RPG was established and Josh deleted Pokémon X. I transferred here. Half the members hated me, while some just moved on. For a few months, things were going so well. I have successfully restored my former glory and I had many unforgettable moments. From my childish interest in Luna, to Doragon being a somewhat life coach. From having Nightmare my best friend, to me making a forum made only for the four of us best friends. We go there to role-play God-modded topics simply to have fun. It was so good.
The majority of the members were a friend of mine as evidenced below. There are more topics where I can prove how awesome I was and how the members loved me until people started fucking things up for me. I only gave you the topics that mean a lot to me and remind me of how glorious the past was, and these topics empower me to keep on fighting until people get tired of pissing me off and just surrender. I am driving everyone to get tired of me. Maybe one day, should everyone get tired of me, I can restore my old glory back from that moment. I can pick it up from there.
https://pokemonworldrpg.forumotion.net/t475-the-shadow-returns (This was the first topic I have posted after I fought Josh and transferred here. Notice how most people loved me.)
https://pokemonworldrpg.forumotion.net/t1730-because-i-am-awesomehttps://pokemonworldrpg.forumotion.net/t613-very-late-introductionhttps://pokemonworldrpg.forumotion.net/t4609-might-move-to-another-siteUntil one day, things went all downhill. People fucked my paradise. People forgot how the original Shadow was so awesome and kind. I realized you all are blind bunch of idiots. I could not remember clearly what lead me to spamming for the second time but someone did something I did not like and I raised up to defend myself. I was expecting the staff, my friends, and everyone else to defend me, an open-minded, school top-notcher 11 years old. To my surprise, everyone seemed to dislike what I did. I was so shocked and could not believe how they turned their backs on me. I thought we were friends.
So, I spammed. Weeks, months, and years after that, the same thing went on. I had a love-hate relationship with everyone until an entire year of my stay on Pokémon World RPG was full of spamming instances. I have grown weary and tired. The once pleasant and likeable young Shadow got pissed and had a personal grudge with the members so there was this cycle of, "Register -> Spam -> Apologize -> Hang out -> someone pisses me off -> Register -> Spam -> Apologize".
Everything kept going on like that and I lost almost all of my childhood friends. I had a fight with Nightmare, and now he is no longer my friend. I miss him. Luna was gone for reasons too complicated. The immature me kept whining and ranting about it to see my childhood crush leave mad at me. I have gotten over it like, a year ago. Doragon never left me alone.
Doragon knew and understood how my mind goes. Doragon knew I was wrong and my ways are wrong. Doragon knows why I do it however. He stayed with me all this time up to now; he is the most loyal friend I have ever had.
Fast forward to the present time, the war is still going on. Whenever a new member registers, I expect that person to one day piss me off and drive me insane. Last year, it was Mystogan, then you, then Nightmare again, and then now Kronos. Every time I get in a fight, one or many staff members will always see my mistakes while not seeing the mistake of others. Alternatively, they will see the mistake of the other person yet capitalize on mine.
When I try to cool off and settle things peacefully like a matured person, someone will take the role of "trigger pusher".
I wonder who would take the following roles next time:
The Asshole - the person who pisses me off
The Trigger Pusher - the moron who talks down on me when I try to cool off and fix things
The Cover - the staff member who will hide how they talk behind my back
The Asshole Staff Member - the staff member who never sees any mistake but mine
The Bitches - everyone else, also known as potential "The Asshole".
I hope there will come a time where people will stop taking those roles so I can finally rest and enjoy this paradise. Until it keeps on going, I will never stop fighting, backstabbing my "friends" who will surely someday stab me first, act wrongly to people every time ahead before they do, and everything else that you see wrong.
I am not the one you should stop. You should give a warning to everyone to be careful. I am a quicksand. You step on me, I will let you go unless you squirm, then I will suck you inside. I am a minefield, you make one mistake, and I will blow things up.
Even if you assure me it will stop, not a single word I get from anyone will convince me until I see it stop myself.
Now I may sound like a person whom you would want to put in a mental hospital for not having a grasp of reality by using terms such as, "kingdom", "surrender", and "war". I admit, I do sound like a man with mental problems when I use those, but I couldn't think of anything else.
With all that said and done, let us begin the question and answer.
Q: If things are so fucked up, why do you remain?
A: I believe the above message have already explained why. I want to fix the forum. I want to restore it back to what it used to be. I'm not a jurassic trapped in the past. I'm just saying, what the fuck happened?
Q: Your motive may just be right, but your methods are wrong. Do you understand this?
A: I do. I do the wrong, yes I do. I have tried to do every single correct thing before from calmly reasoning out to writing up formal letters. I've been doing that for the last two years and the stupidity of this forum's majority is just too damn high that they do not understand what I say and realize what the fuck is wrong.
Q: They all say nothing is wrong and the fact that everyone is against you, should make you think you're wrong. Right?
A: Correct. I do doubt myself sometimes. What if I'm actually wrong and I'm just blinded by rage? I'm not. On a calm mind, whatever and however I look at it, there is something wrong. I'm not alone. Doragon and Ukiki agrees with me but they're not taking things too seriously. I wouldn't want them to. I'd rather do it myself. Because I can.
Q: Why don't you move to another forum and just deal with how 'fucked up' things are?
A: I have had a personal attachment to this forum. It may sound unrealistic and delusional, but I just do have an attachment to this forum. Should the forum ever die, I would still come online here everyday simply for the sake of being here and dwelling.
Q: You do realize spamming, cussing at people, and whatnot does not fix things?
A: I do. Like I've said before, I've tried to do what's right. It didn't work.
Q: You claim to love friends. Yet you are a hypocrite who backstabs them. You are a two face. That's what they call you. Are you aware of it?
A: I am a two face. Not to all. I happen to lose a lot of friends. They get in the way of my raging and it pains me to lose them. I love them, I love every single one of my friends but sometimes, shit just happens and I can't let my kindness get the best of me. My friends may hate me and turn their backs on me because they have all the right reasons to, but I know deep in me that I still love them. Should we ever meet in real life, I would take a bullet for my friends.
Q: Just what is your motive? What do you seek to achieve?
A: Restoration. I want the forum back to what it was.
Q: Elaborate? What exactly do you want?
A: Good question. I want a new set of staff members. Some people aren't worth of their position. Some do their job well, but behave wrongly. The staff also have divided opinion on almost everything so there is no exact or definite opinion on one thing, which is obviously wrong. Staff members like Flamelunar, Ian, Mori, and Matt are one of the best but no one's perfect, we all make mistakes. Ian is a good friend of mine, I love Ian. I love him. But he needs to take a seminar. He approves applications that shouldn't be approved and has to improve his simple capitalization errors on his posts. Other than that, he's fine. Flamelunar, I can't see anything wrong with her. She's underrated. She mods many topics, never complains, never boasts, but I don't think she's getting enough thanks. MattFang, he's a very awesome man. I remember the day we met, he was so awesome. Dude even has my childhood crush now as his girlfriend. I wish the best of luck for the couple. When Matt became staff, that's when I started to dislike him. He is too strict and a little bit of a doo doo. Too wussy. But I guess he's just doing his job and there's nothing wrong with being strict. I just think he should tone it down a bit. Other than that, Matt will forever be my best friend. I have insulted him way below the belt before, and I apologize to him. I don't expect you to forgive me, Matt, I don't. Just know that I feel sorry for it. Nishwishes, she mods well and all that but sometimes, she can be a prick. Narrow minded and godly. She never realizes her mistakes and just, a complete "Ms. Right". Sure, 'entitled to their own opinion' exists but that's not an excuse to be an ass. No one else has problems with her so maybe I'm the one wrong here when it comes to Nish but then again a few people did have problems with Nish like Mori and Jake. Mori, I can't use enough words to describe Mori. Mori will always have a special place in my heart. He shares that place with Doragon. Bud, I fucking love you. As a mentor, friend, everything, I love you, man. You could've fixed the site, I see you're stlil doing it but it's hard to deal with idiots. Honey Senpai, not worthy of being Global Mod. When was the last time he fucking did something? Slowpoke, hands down, she is fucking awesome. Mark, I now understand Mark. We're so alike that I'm not gonna blame him for the fuckery he sometimes does because I know how he is. Hard to explain. Love you, Mark. Ava is a good head admin. I give her that. She just has a majority of fucked up staff members.
Q: Those are pretty offensive, what you said there. No one else sees these problems but you. Maybe you're the bitch here?
A: I am a bitch. No one sees those. That's it, that's what's wrong. There is something wrong, yet they don't see it. Not because I'm wrong, but because they don't realize what's wrong nor have been here long enough to know what is really going on. To newbies, keep your fucking mouth shut. You can't talk about shit you know nothing of. It's like, you join this new party then you start protecting people when you don't even know what they did before and you bite at this guy, who's been in the party for the last four years while you just fucking arrived a year ago.
Q: Any plans after this?
A: Prepare. Just... prepare. I MIGHT spam. I MIGHT.
Q: Spamming doesn't fix anything. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why won't you leave everyone alone?
A: Until they realize and understand what I say, I will not stop. I MIGHT spam tomorrow. I'll decide after I get responses.
Q: When will you leave?
A: Can't tell.