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 Haruko Fuusen

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TheThundersRoar
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TheThundersRoar
1
Posts : 14

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PostSubject: Haruko Fuusen    Haruko Fuusen  H6Q0F8zMon Jun 24, 2013 11:28 pm

Name: Haruko Fuusen
Nickname: Ruko
Age: 28
Gender: male
Rank: unidentified 
Birthplace: Kanto , Lavender town
Battle Style: Enjoys the thrill of a good battle and travels place to place battling random trainers that make their way to him.
Looks: Haruko Fuusen  Gengar10
Personality: Joyful but somewhat eerie and likes to play jokes on people. He hates a thief but enjoys hunting them down and dragging them into forests to be lost.
History: Haruko grew up with a Ghastly but it eventually evolved into a Haunter and then evolved into Gengar during his 18th birthday but as he was about to blow out the candles on his cake 2 thieves broke in threatening his parents that if they did not come with them they would kill Haruko. Haruko's parents left but Haruko chased after and commanded Gengar to attack them. They shot Gengar and then Haruko. The feelings of anger and hate were so strong that Haruko's soul could not just leave.....his soul wanted vengance and justice. Haruko is bound to Earth until he gets what he desires. Haruko managed to retrieve Gengar back by a certain curse. That curse was that if his pokemon was to get hurt, Haruko would feel 2x the pain Gengar felt. After training for a couple weeks Haruko got the whole ghost thing down and loved nothing more than scaring people and playing tricks.
Badges: 
Items: 5 Pokeballs(TMs, HMs, Medicine, etc. New Trainers leave blank.)
Money: $6,200 (Do not change)

Pokémon

Pokémon: Gengar
Nickname: Shinigami
Gender: MALE
Level: 27
Moves: Shadow Punch , Hypnosis , mean look , (EGG) Psywave , (TM) Thunder bolt
Ability: Levitate
Personality: Laughs alot,easily angered , Looks into other pokemon's dreams and loves to turn a peaceful one into a nightmare.
Exp: 0 
Dragon Kurai
12
12
Posts : 4447
Location : On the hype train .3.

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PostSubject: Re: Haruko Fuusen    Haruko Fuusen  H6Q0F8zTue Jun 25, 2013 1:05 pm

The history looks a bit nice, but the first sentence looks like a run on, and there are a few grammatical errors [spelling/ etc]. The personality seems to fit the history, but there isn't enough to really determine what the character's personality is. The battle style is a bit more of what would be considered a personality, and needs to be changed. Also, as recommendation, I would say to put the picture in a spoiler so that it isn't taking up so much room of the post.

Other than that, the name is nicely chosen o3o
Sora
11
Sora
11
Posts : 1843
Location : Look behind you. I'm not there, either.

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PostSubject: Re: Haruko Fuusen    Haruko Fuusen  H6Q0F8zTue Jul 16, 2013 3:55 am

You have two weeks to make the changes above and notify that you did, or it will be acknowledged as old and be moved. If you are having trouble, then feel free to check other applications for an example. ^^
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PostSubject: Re: Haruko Fuusen    Haruko Fuusen  H6Q0F8z

 
Haruko Fuusen
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